Cooking with Maki-chan
by LittleMeese
Summary: A story were Maki is pretending to be the host of a cooking show. It obviously doesn't turn out as planned.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note: I'm working on chapter six of A trip to Europe, just have this writing piece 'cause I don't want it while you wait. No one probably cares XD.**

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Maki grinned like a crescent moon with glee, "Hello! Today, I'll be cooking some nice and casual dinner for my two best friends. My girlfriend can fuck off because she can actually cook, but that's okay! I can cook too!" She took out three bowls, two eggs, and many different condiments and slammed them onto the counter top, ringing out loud for the world to hear that she was cooking. Perhaps slamming the two eggs wasn't a good idea, as it smashed into millions of pieces, sticking onto juvenile hands.

Her smile dropped into a frown, muttering a curse. After cleaning up the sticky mess and contemplating what she was doing with her life, Maki continued, giggling and beaming at the start, "Alright! That wasn't meant to happen, but we still have more eggs, so it's fine." Grabbing on to the fridge handle, she flung it open to see no eggs present. Maki's eyebrow twitched, trying to contain her irritation.

"O-okay, change of plans. I'll be making grilled cheese sandwiches instead, so.." Outstretching her arms, Maki swept the table making condiments and bowls descend to their death. "We won't be needing any of these." The horrid noise of clattering repeated throughout the shared kitchen. Groaning, Maki relinquished her unnatural smile. "Such a pain in the ass to keep up with this happy nonsense."

Snatching a large plate, 6 pieces of white bread, butter and a pan, Maki struck the items against the counter top once again. "Cutting the crap, let's make fucking sandwiches." One could tell she was very inexperienced, from the way her facial expressions scowled every time her fingers brushed against the heated pan to the way she cut the cheese, making unequal parts and having a sandwich with a crap load of cheddar, and the other two just barely have enough.

"So, we now have these three sandwiches that could probably pass by as edible. Let's cook 'em." The pan had smoke hovering ungracefully over itself, along with the awful smell of burnt butter. Carefully, Maki gripped the sandwiches one by one and placed them on the pan, side by side. "While this is cooking, I'm going to go occupy myself of my sad life. I'll be back after this advertisement or whatever."

Leaving the burnt butter mess and the stove on high, Maki plopped herself onto the couch, hair sticking messily to her forehead. "Ugh, chef Maki has to sleep."

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After a sweet and long slumber, Maki was awoken by an alarm. Unfortunately, it wasn't the alarm to wake her up from school. It would only be a miracle if Maki lived until tomorrow. Wobbling her way to the kitchen, a great bonfire was lit on where the sandwiches once laid, so peacefully. The smell of smoke was pungent, burning her nose more than how her face felt. Seizing her phone, Maki slowly walked out of the house like nothing was wrong and dialed the local firefighters.

At this point, the house was now breathing out fire, with eyes lit up with anger and crackling with rage. Maki sighed, slipping her hand into her pocket and catching a phone. "Yeah, hey Umi, Eli. You guys should come home, I have a surprise for you."

When the firefighters came, it fought flames. When Umi and Eli came, they fought Maki. "Maki, we only left you for three hours!" shouted Eli, "You said you were trustworthy. And now you're telling us you were hosting a tv show that burnt our house down?" Umi said, frighteningly relaxed. Maki nodded in fear, "Whoops."

The day after that, Umi decided to ask Nico if she could teach Maki how to cook. Nico happily agreed. "Hey, babe! I'm here!" a slap was landed on Maki's buttocks. Maki shrieked, aiming to slap Nico's buttocks back too but rightfully "missed" and hit Nico's face. "Ow. What did you even do to have me here? Umi neglected to tell me." It only took a minute or two to make Nico regret agreeing to help. After telling the story of the grilled cheese sandwich bonfire, taking out the part where she was pretending to be the host of a cooking show, Maki glowered at Nico who was laughing unattractively.

"Wow! First it was burning cereal, then a hot pocket, and now a grilled cheese sandwich! I wonder if you could manage to burn a granola bar." mocked Nico. During the cooking lesson, Maki proved to Nico that she can, in fact, burn a granola bar.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Note: I said this was completed and was a one-shot, but I really can't help but add just one more super short chapter. Enjoy~**

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"Maki-chan you dumbass. How do you light a granola bar on fire? Why are you so irresponsible?!" Nico examined Maki's granola bar, charred to crisp with black surrounding the inedible treat. Only half an hour in and something lit into flames. It was amazing, really. Such a skillful person being so.. inept at being somewhat normal. "It's not that I'm irresponsible.." Maki started, twirling locks of hair absently, thinking of how to describe the situation. What else could she possibly say when she left her snack on the stove while it was still on? And on high too?

"Then how do you explain every food you try to cook being burnt? And in this case, every food you don't consume in under 5 minutes?"

There was a delayed response. "It's what you call being literally hot." Nico's forehead collided with her hand, causing a mark to appear. "Are you kidding me? Does that explain why Eli's food is always cold and undercooked? Because she's so damn cool?" Nico meant to say cold, but that wasn't something she should say to her best friend. That's what Maki is for.

The mentioned blonde walked in on Nico saying this, forming an awkward atmosphere. "...Why thank you?.." Eli said, coming close to whispering. With that said, Eli walked right back out, her hair swaying mockingly at Nico. Frankly, the girl didn't know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult.

"I guess so. But I don't know about you; your food is always perfect and all but..." Maki pointed to Nico, moving her arm up and down her form. "This thing.." after the fifth time her arm came up, Nico smacked it down hard, looking up to scowl at her supposed student. "Shut up and clean this mess. Tell Umi I quit."

Nico stomped out of her house, halting when she heard Maki yell, "But you live here!"

"You guys have a week to find a new house before I kick your ass out!" Nico yelled back. Where was she going? Probably somewhere to go cry about Maki's life. Leave it to hapless Maki to make everyone tear up at her stupidity.


End file.
